thermalwind | Life Aftr IC Inbox

Nothing to be sorry for. [He loosens his hold on her but doesn't let go. If she still needs the support he can hold her up for a little while longer.]

We all need a hand sometimes. [Shiro had said that when he needed it most. It's only right that he pass it on to Ann when she needs it.]

If you need this, just do it. I'll hold you up. Those trials were pretty rough.

...Okay.

[ that's something akira would say. she knows that they're two different people, but something about what keith says makes her feel at home again. she misses akira, the phantom thieves, shiho. but that she can find home here as well--not the horrible world they currently live in, but the people in it--it will do wonders in soothing the pain in her heart.

it's not going to go away right now. but keith just being here and willing to be her strength in this very moment means more to her than she can ever say. she was raised in an environment where she was encouraged to keep her feelings to herself, and without the phantom thieves' support, the habit's resurfaced. she wants to say something...but she doesn't know what.

she's still tearing up. the scars are still raw, and it's clear she hasn't even attempted to try and heal them away with carmen's power. her hands curl around keith's shirt and she tries to steady her breathing. ]

It was so horrible in there... I... I don't even know what to say...

For trials meant to better us. They didn't really share their lessons with us. It was...different from my trial at home.

[He holds steady as he watches her. If she needs to cry on him again he's ready for it. Ann is strong, stronger than she knows. But even the strongest of people need the support of others.

It took him a long time to learn that.]

...and what does bad elevator music have to do with patience??

Not at all.

[ and seriously, fuck forgiving kamoshida. he doesn't deserve any ounce of that. she'll probably need to cry on him again soon. ]

God, I just... [ she starts shaking. yeah, she starts crying again, sooner than expected. ] I don't--I don't know how to deal with this! Dying over and over again? What the hell is that supposed to teach us?!

Gods and spirits don't seem to get death isn't a way to teach anything. [He gently guides her away from where they emerged, intent on taking her back to his temporary camp.]

We had to all stay together in my trial. We couldn't rush anything. One room literally tilted you towards a pit if you did anything at faster than a walk.

[ that's fine. she'll follow him. ]

We...we faced visions of people we hadn't forgiven in mine. They did everything they could to rile us up so we'd attack them--and every time we did, those attacks bounced back.

[He wraps his arm around her back, his left arm free to draw a blade. If something comes at them she won’t need to fight. He would kill it instead. Kosmo falls in step with him as Ember stays on Ann’s shoulders. If he needs to pull away to fight they will protect her.]

The trial of forgiveness? [He asks, as he moves from. A steady walk to an assassin’s east stride. Just like his mother taught him.]

That’s...Sounds like how we got punished for rushing. We were chained together towards the end. We had to work together or we all got fried.

Supposedly. But the "forgiveness" part was a bunch of bullshit if you ask me.

[ she appreciates the gesture. the three of them are making her feel safe. she folds her arms across her chest. ]

Working together... I tried--I tried to help the others. And I just... Laurent... [ died right in front of her. it wasn't a pretty death, either. ] And Washington--he didn't mean to, I was just too late...

[Washington. He closes his eyes. He will check on him later. Keith draws her towards the manapool.] So they baited you into attacking and then your own attacks rebounded.

[Anger twists in his stomach. He works through it with each step he takes. He considers how to approach this. Then he knows.]

I thought we would be given the choice to walk into the trials willingly. But Storyteller is unique, I guess. And this is nothing like the Trials of Marmora.

...Yeah. And...our attacks also rebounded on whoever was around us, too.

[ which explains what happened with washington, at least. and ardyn. ] I...I used Carmen, no holds barred, on more than one occasion. So...yeah. [ she gestures to the burn marks on her arms. ]

Is it really the Storyteller who came up with all of this?

[He shakes his head.] No, the bird deity. They were all about judgment and told me about the trials when I talked to them on Maati.

[Carmen. He'd seen her power before. The thought of that rebounding makes him wince. He tightens his hold on Ann, protective urges rising up. He can't fix it. All he can do is gently support her.]

...what do you want to about...burns?

Edited 2019-01-17 08:41 (UTC)

I want them to go away.

[ she grasps her hands together and squeezes them. she doesn't want to see the scars anymore. ]

I just--every time I try to summon Carmen, I just think about everything all over again. I can't do it.

[She can't use Carmen without remembering being hurt. He internally winces. How can he help with that?]

...take your time with it. Let yourself deal with what happened. We can work on making Carmen feel safe again later. ...let's focus on what we can do.

I can teach you field medic first aid if you don't know how.

...Okay.

[ she hates feeling like this. she really feels like she's being such a burden to him right now. ...she stops in her tracks and looks up at him before she pulls him into another hug. ]

Thank you, Keith...

[He blinks then relaxes, wrapping his arms around her.] Any time. Friends support each other, right?

You helped give me something to focus on when that fake shade of dad was around. ...and reminded me not to push people away. No matter how afraid I am of losing them.

[She reminded him of how important bonds are. He will never forget that.]

Now it's my turn to help you.

[ he says that, and ann feels tears welling in her eyes once more. she helped him. she did something good for someone who's done nothing but be kind to her since they first met. and right now, she needed to hear that. more than ever. ]

Keith... You sap...

[ but she's hugging him tighter. she's so glad they're friends. ]

[He puts a hand to the back of her head. She can’t see his face so the relief on it is hidden to her. He made her feel even a little better. That’s something.

It’s a step. He lets her hold onto him for as long as she needs to.]

We all are a little sappy eventually, right?

Fine... [ she sniffles again, pulling away to wipe at her eyes. her voice is stuffy, but he'll still be able to see a glimpse of her humor peek through her sadness: ] You're way sappier than I am, though.

[ oh, ann. ]

So... First aid. Right. Can we work on that later? I'm just... [ she sighs. ] I'm not really in the mood for it right now. Sorry. I know I'm being a downer.

You just went through a really traumatic time. Even for a soldier in wartime, they'd need support to get through it. Lean on me as much as you need to. We're in this together.

[He says softly, his thoughts on soldiers of the coalition and planets they'd liberated. How many of them had been just people before? He decides on his course.]

We'll eat and draw in the sand instead. I don't have a drawing journal here...but I've been practicing since I was a kid.

Yeah.

[ together, huh. sometimes it's easy to forget that...but she's glad she has keith. she's thankful for his presence, for his support. his friendship. it means so much to her, more than she can ever say. ]

I'm pretty bad at art, but that doesn't sound half bad.

Best thing about art isn’t how good you are. It’s getting what’s in your head out of it. [He says, with a small grin on his face. When words weren’t enough art gave him a voice. No one else heard it for a long time. But that had been okay. He could voice all the things he couldn’t manage to put to words.

That was often. Keith leads her across the bridge towards the cottage. Things will be okay some how. They just have to put one foot ahead of the other and keep moving.]

...you know I didn’t really appreciate cooking until I met my friend Hunk. He says cooking and food bring people together. I think part of why we began to gather was we all liked his food and his kindness.

That's true, but... The best thing that came out of art for me was meeting my best friend. Shiho. [ there's a ghost of a smile on her face. it's probably the happiest she's looked since the trials...but it fades. fast. ] She told me about how horrible my painting was in art class. It was the first time someone saw past my looks and decided to be honest with me.

[ she misses her so much. ann thinks about her every day, and what she wouldn't give to be with her right now. ]

Hunk, huh? That's a pretty funny name. But he sounds like a good guy to be around.

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